The Apprentice - Politics style

I wasn't sure what to make of what happened in the u.S. Congress yesterday. My initial feeling was a turning stomach and then something hit me. No, it wasn't a bus and it certainly wasn't the realization that I had been wrong all along.

What hit me was the realization that the Tea Act didn't last and neither did the Stamp Act. Or the Boston Port Act. Or the Massachusetts Government Act, Administration of Justice Act or the Quartering Act. While many people in today's society see the constant creep of government programs and other usurpation of our liberty with the "boiling a frog" analogy in mind I tend to take a different view after last evening's epiphany.

If it were not for the Intolerable Acts, we would all be British subjects.

What happened yesterday when our government passed a sweeping piece of legislation that is vehemently opposed by most Americans was a step in a series of new Intolerable Acts that is leading to a revolution of our own age. Now, before you fly out and call the ATF or FBI on me, let me explain.

Our form of government, the finest currently in use on Earth, was specially designed by people that understood that people are pretty good when out in the wild, just trying to hammer out a life. They also realized that this trait was nullified after an extended period in a position of power - like 15, maybe 20 minutes. These same people had just completed a seven year revolution during which metal balls of various circumferences were hurled from tubes of various sizes striking people violently while long sharp objects of various sizes were jabbed into people. They probably weren't completely beyond more of the same if needed but they would have liked a better way when this became necessary once again.

So they came up with the idea of letting the people peaceably overthrow the government every two years, whether it needed it or not - which, usually, it does. All 435 members of the House of Representatives can be fired every 730 days, give or take. The executive branch gets a one-revolution reprieve coming up to possibly be fired every four years and the Senate has immunity for two overthrows - only 1/3 of them can be pulled into the boardroom per revolution.

The greatest thing in all of this is that instead of Donald Trump, these candidates have to squirm and stutter while facing their bosses - you and me. And we can be much less forgiving than The Donald. Just ask Jimmy Carter.

So now we consider the boardroom. These candidates come in and toot their horns about how great they are or have been and how raunchy and stupid the other candidates are and how sorry you will be if you don't fire them. You have an opportunity to listen to all the yakking and even a few opportunities to ask questions and dig around looking for what the reality in the issue is. And then the moment of truth. You go into the polling location and check one box, effectively turning to the other candidate with a firm glare and saying "You're fired!"

So this is where you decide what constitutes a good job in your eyes. You be The Donald.

Me? I hate this health care bill. I hate the "because I'm the President" mentality in Washington - and not just from Obama. It is hard to comprehend that when visitors knocked on the front door of the White House, Thomas Jefferson answered it. John Tyler was playing marbles with his children when he learned he had become President. President John Quincy Adams swam in the Potomac...in the nude. I want someone real in there. I realize the world has changed and that the President won't be answering the door at the White House any time soon. But let's remember which one of us is the boss and which is the employee, ok?

That is just one example. And while the current political climate is heated, is it really any more partisan than when Vice President Aaron Burr killed former treasury secretary Alexander Hamilton in a duel over a slight related to an election? Is it more abrasive than when Congressman Preston Brooks walked into the Senate chamber and beat Senator Charles Sumner with a walking cane for having insulted Brooks' uncle, Andrew Butler? Partisan bickering in America predates the republic itself.

So now you have to sit in the big chair, weigh your candidates' performance in their duties or their preparedness to assume the duties anew. Then the decision is yours. Who do you fire? Who ever you keep be prepared to deal with them until the next boardroom in 2012.