A Writer?

So I'm a writer. Yeah.

That is a funny term to call myself since I really don't write anything much at all. In fact I hate writing. I have my reasons for hating writing and I guess if it were not for the computer and word processing programs, the world would be a little less cluttered without my rambling on about this and that. But since we have such modern contrivances, I'll ramble on about why I hate writing.

First of all, I present "cursive". I think that is an excellent term for that art. Trying to write in cursive puts me in a cursive mood - meaning "it makes me want to curse". Poor Janet Morris took the entire 1983-84 school year trying to teach me to make the swirly letters and I have spent every year since trying to forget. Honestly, since I go by my middle name, I can't even write my first name in cursive. I can only muster the first initial for my signature.

Then you have to consider that I get writer's cramp easily. I can sit and try to shake it out but it only makes me want to continue to stall. And what would you do to increase your writing endurance? Yeah, more writing. Not going to happen.

Another issue comes from lack of technical assistance. I had one of the greatest teachers of vocabulary ever - Sandra Jackson and her little green devil books with "Word Wealth" written across the cover in black ink. As much as they terrorized me, I'd love to have my own copy. My wife is very talented in teaching vocabulary and grammar. I have an excellent vocabulary but let's just say that the correct order of words does not always roll off the end of my pen. And I have yet to find writing paper that forms the little red squiggly line under a misspelling or a green squiggly line under my inadvertent attempts to brutalize Her Royal Majesty's official language. Yeah, I need a little help at times.

I remember seeing the "Freedom Shrine" at my local YMCA when I was a kid. They had a copy of "Jefferson's Rough Draft" of the Declaration of Independence. Seeing all those strikes, blots, mistakes, and all gave me some hope that one day I'd be able to complete a book report or maybe even a research paper without using an erasable pen. And maybe one day I will. But until then, I'll keep my keyboard and my slow typing.

And I'll hope that my wife counts this statement and the opening one as being enough to keep this entry from being a five-paragraph essay.