Which brings me to the the talk posted on Twitter 2/16/14. "We have got to show our sons a new definition of manhood." http://t.co/Hkx4hLmXHN
I spent a few years working in Men's Ministry. My mother had seven brothers. I'm the oldest of her 4 sons. I have three sons of my own. I spent four years working in college football (in addition to three years playing high school ball). For the last 16 years I've worked for an organization that staffed over 99% by men.
All that to say, I'm familiar with men. I understand the statistics from my ministry days. I'll make no argument about the rate of sexual assaults against women that Colin Stokes makes in the Ted Talk. I'm in full agreement that the state of men in America is sad.
I'm also in agreement with Stokes on the point that men need to be able to work on a team, even one led by women.
But I want to make a few points from another perspective.
It's not just my inner Star Wars nerd that was cringing when he shared his concerns about the violence and strong male role models in the 1977 cinema classic. The world is a violent place. Even in Stokes' model of virtue on the Silver Screen, the Scarecrow was torn to pieces before being strewn all over the trail. Later he was set on fire. The raw intimidation the Wicked Witch wielded in Munchkin land belies a level of violence which, while unseen, was very real. And even the villain, the Witch herself going out in a hissing blob screaming in torment, "I'M MELTING!" That's the world you want?
I'm for being selective of my sons' media intake. I like them having strong male role models. Men that are capable of violence under the right circumstances - defense of home, family, friends, freedom, etc. I also want to see men that respect women. I don't mean revering them in some mythical fashion that demeans them. I mean respect their abilities to think, create, work, fight, defend, and be human. This isn't a new paradigm. It's centuries old. It's called chivalry.
It's a concept that has come under fire. Example: women like a certain senator that doesn't like being called "ma'am", being ignorant of Southern or military culture. Bless her heart, she just doesn't understand that if my mama sees me on TV NOT calling a lady "ma'am", I'm going to get my legs striped for me. And I'm almost 40.
You show me a man that says "ma'am", a man that holds a door for a lady, a man that won't sit while a lady stands, a man that doesn't use profanity in front of a lady, a man that will pick something up for the lady that dropped it, a man that respects a lady's spirit and mind as much as (or more than) her body and I'll show you a man that's not a part of the sexual assault statistics that Mr. Stokes shared.
So yes, we need a different paradigm. We need to teach our sons to have a healthy outlook in regard to the female side of the human race. Just as Han and Luke respected Leia at the end of Episode IV; just as Elizabeth I sent her warriors into battle - men who followed her orders and would never speak a word of disrespect towards her; just as Galahad, Bors, and Percival could fight gallantly, achieve glory and remain chaste; we can raise men today - both in fiction and reality - that are strong, brave, and respectful of women.
Oh, it's a different paradigm. But it's not new.
